Bueller..... Bueller........ Bueller......

Yep. It's been a while.  Like a looooong while.  And while I love to write, post recipes, put in my two cents, life has been absolutely crazy.  Here's a dose of brutal honesty and a glimpse at what I mean by crazy:

• My grandpa died...
• I was depressed for months and still feel the sting and randomly cry almost every day...
• I started and will finish grad school course work in three summers...
• My son has ADHD... 
• We tried meds - four of them actually - some with horrible results...
• We stopped medicating and now use essential oils, vitamins, and the Feingold diet - a full time job in an of itself...
• I quit my job as a band teacher...
• I don't have another "real" job lined up but do plan on teaching private music lessons and being a stay at home mom, something I have honestly wanted to do all my life but never thought I could...
• We bought cattle to start a herd...

But I digress... 

When we made the drastic switch to the Feingold Diet, which eliminates all processed foods and food additives, colors, and preservatives, I posted on FB looking for closer grocery options for organic, natural, and whole foods.  St. Paul has a ton of options, Rochester has a few.  HyVee in Austin was better than Albert Lea and I hear Mason City is even better yet...  But at any rate, one of my friends saw that I had mentioned meal planning and wanted to know how to do it.  I had a done a post a while back but have updated my format since then, learned a lot more about how to stretch my budget and food purchases, and now of course, we eat a completely different diet.  I figured my first full post back could cover two bases at once - what a week in the life of a Feingold family looks like and how to effectively and efficiently meal plan on a budget.  Furthermore, once a few meal plans have been built, and quick copy and paste moves around favorites or deletes disasters and just keeps building!  Right now, I have 3 - two week meal plans.  That should take us through the first 7 weeks of Stage 1 of Feingold, which is a 6-8 week process.  (I had the first week that we were on the diet that we were in Duluth and I made meals from what we had on hand.)  Following this first stage, we can begin to reintroduce foods to test for sensitivity and reactions and our menu choices will change again.

This isn't entirely impressive, but our monthly food budget for our family of four people ranges anywhere from $300-500 a month, or about $75-125 per week.  Sometimes I simply have to restock pantry staples and I end up spending more; sometimes I just need fresh produce and milk.  One big reason we can keep it somewhat low is because we raise our own beef.  I would love to get in on some sort of meat co-op where local farmers exchange meats - I'll give you 10 pounds of burger for 5 pounds of sausage and 3 chickens.  Wouldn't that be awesome!?!  I know I have said this before and I'll say it again, home-raised meat is healthier and most cost effective.  You will pay the same price for burger as you pay for steaks.  When was the last time you saw steaks for $2.50 a pound??  Chickens weighing 7-9 pounds usually run around $10-15 dollars, and I don't know about you, but I can get at least three meals plus bone broth and stock out of one chicken.  Yes -- even the carcass doesn't go to waste in our house!  And you know exactly where it comes from.  Remember a few weeks back about a family being treated for consuming LSD in tainted meat sold at Wal-Mart?  Try tracing that meat back to the original packing house let alone the original herd.  Buying locally means that most likely that farmer knows exactly which animal you are getting.  Now that's quality control!

After quitting my job, I did some number crunching.  I sincerely do want to live on less.  We have so much stuff and so much of it isn't even necessary.  So in an effort to see this goal through, I recently gave up paper plates, plastic utensils, and plastic cups.  It is an added expense we don't need.  I have beautiful dishes, a sink, and a dishwasher.  Soap costs a fraction of what disposable dinnerware does when all is said and done.  Not only that, but the environmental impact of plastic production and waste is a pretty hefty price.  At one point, I needed the convenience to keep me sane, but I am now on a different path towards a more crunchy lifestyle where living on less, wasting less, and wanting less is making me and my family happier and healthier.   

Apparently I like side bars tonight... Sorry about that soapbox.  But it all contributes to how I build a meal plan centered around a well stocked pantry and freezer.

So how do I build a meal plan...?  To be honest, I don't read the flyers, although I know I should.  That will be the next step to fully realizing this crazy idea of living on less.  I ask the kids and the huzzy what they want to eat and feed them accordingly.  Right now, it is more important that they are eating and enjoying it than saving a few pennies.  But if that is something your family values, building a meal plan around sales is another excellent, cost-saving method.  (Can you teach me how???)  I usually ask them on Saturday or Sunday what they want to eat for the week, start putting things in place, and then build a grocery list.

With treating Minihe's ADHD by dietary needs and not wanting to put extra pressure on caregivers, I pack all his meals every day - breakfast, lunch, and snack.  This usually means a quick, hearty breakfast with a protein punch, leftovers for lunch, and a satisfying and fun snack.  I like things that I can make ahead and reuse as needed -- whole wheat pancake bites (pancake batter baked in mini-muffin cups), any muffin or bread (we can have cinnamon, pear, streusel, banana), eggs & cheese, ham/egg/cheese cups, sausage egg tortillas (I make a bunch ahead and freeze in individual plastic wrap for a quick breakfast), fruit and veggie smoothies with a protein boost...  Anything I can make or prep the night before and reuse for a snack or other breakfast is a definite plus!

As we adjust to our new norm with foods, I am finding that we eat even better now than before.  Our options are only as limited as our creativity.  At this current stage, we can't have any tomato-based sauce..  We can't have berries.  We can't have yellow cheeses.  And the list goes on.... But looking at my menu, it's still full of flavor and nutrition.  Follow me on Pinterest to get a lot of the recipes I use as the basis to help build my meal plan and follow the Feingold structure.  

Also, if you're family is dealing with ADHD or Autism and is looking for another way to treat it without medication, you are at the right place!  I will be posting several entries over the next few days that essentially chronicles our journey.  It is most definitely not a how-to manual but rather like an online journal.  It's rudimentary, but I did not want to forget what these early days of a natural treatment method are like.  I found it so incredibly helpful to know I wasn't alone when I began researching natural methods, so if our story can help someone - anyone - I am glad. 

Peace and goodwill to you and yours...

Reeder Ranch

This is a .jpg but if you would like a Numbers or Excel version, email me and I'll ship it out to you!

Unmotivated Became Overweight...

before you begin reading, i would like to take a moment to acknowledge just how difficult it can be for women to discuss their weight and to admit they are out of shape and overweight.  the first step for me was to actually admit this to myself before i could do anything about it.  now the second step for me is to share my story with my friends and family and maybe even complete strangers - because as human beings, we all have struggles and knowing we're not alone is often incredibly comforting.  that said, here's my story on being fat:

the moment I realized my weight was out of control was quite depressing...  i was trying to try on bridesmaid dress for my best friend's wedding, and the store we were at didn't carry anything smaller than a size 12.  ugh.  here she stood, a svelt 5'10" trying on size 4 wedding gowns; and there i stood a stocky 5'4" holding up dresses.  it was a wake up call for me that it was high time to do something. anything. i could no longer look in the mirror and keep convincing myself a little (ok... alotta) junk in the trunk is acceptable.

what's a girl to do when she wants to lose weight and keep it off?  the options are endless - some include pills and powders which was not something i was interested in, although one cannot argue the results are quite obvious and fast.  i wanted to lose the weight healthfully and by making lifestyle changes, even if that meant over a longer period of time.

i have loathed exercising for as long as i can remember and rabbit food isn't exactly my idea of a delicious meal. i worked out through high school due knee injuries and my deep love for track but never liked it.  i ate a pretty healthy diet until college.  umm... think cafeteria buffets, turning 21, and the bar food that accompanies those nights out...  enough said.  i managed to lose a few pounds before my wedding but it came right back.  while pregnant with minihe i had a medical condition (hyperemesis gravidarum) where i literally threw up day in and day out for months.  i lost a significant amount of weight, but even with breastfeeding for a year, was unable to keep it off.  second pregnancy and second year of breastfeeding yielded the same result.  i blamed my babies for losing my body - which i might mention was pretty stellar 10 years ago.

no more excuses.  and thus enters counting calories and exercise into my daily regime.  no more thinking that just because what i'm cooking is healthy i can eat as much as i want.  no more sugary treats.  no more pop. no more....  i joined a gym and work out 5-6 days a week, i revamped my own menu and snack on vegetables, fruits, and nuts, i drink 8-16 cups of water a day, i stand up straighter, and the results are slow but sure.  after countless hours of cardio and strength training in the last three weeks, i've dropped 10 pounds and 1 pants size and i don't know how many inches.  i lost 4-5 pounds right away but have really had to work for these last 4-5.  i leave my workout feeling invigorated.  i challenge myself to go another half a mile, or burn another 50 calories, or do another set.  my skin is healthier, my mood is dramatically improved, and my self-image is in the process of healing.

but i am not done.  i want to lose another 30 pounds and another 3-4 dress/pants sizes.  wait for the time frame.....................  BY JULY 4.  that's 20 weeks which means slightly over a pound a week.  i think i can do it.  I KNOW I CAN DO IT!!!  (but any positive thoughts you want to send my way won't hurt!)

if you are in a similar situation and want to lose weight or wish you had the willpower to make a change, no matter how small, i also want to challenge you to join with me in revolutionizing the way you approach fitness and your eating habits.  if you're not ready to make the drastic changes i made basically overnight, i challenge you to make one small change week by week.  eliminate pop.  drink more water.  trade pasta for a salad.  eat breakfast.  change to whole wheat bread.  these small changes will add up over time and in the end, can have an immense impact on your overall well-being.  i have come to the conclusion the reason my changes never stuck before is because i never did it for "me."  this time around is different.  i'm exercising for me.  i'm eating right for me.  and because i'm focused on making me a better person, i only have myself to praise (or blame) with the results i experience.  and in the end, i will continue to make these lifestyle changes permanent because i did it for the right reasons to begin with.  

what will you do?

if you have a weight-loss success story, be sure to share in the comment section below!  often what really works for someone can be adopted or adapted by others.

Raising Beef

living in the midwest has its perks.  we seriously have some great resources!  meat is in abundance, farmer’s markets are in nearly every town from may until october, we live in place that literally feeds the world.  living in the grain belt is way of life.

minihe and browny

d and minihe doing chores

growing up on a small farm, my life revolved around the seasons of planting, county fair, harvest, and snowmobiling.  my personal favorite was county fair.  it was this experience with 4-H that truly shaped my values as a youth and into adulthood.  furthermore, i was able to, quite successfully, explore my interest in raising and showing beef cattle.  i knew i wanted to marry someone with similar values and experiences that we could ultimately share with our own children.  i found that in d.  we began our own cattle operation a few years ago, and in doing so, began setting up our children to appreciate the hard work and rewards of the farm life.  

part of the reason we began this operation was to supplement our income.  raising our own corn, oats, hay, and straw alleviates overhead costs.  selling the cattle to customers and/or nearby market helps put a little extra cash in our pocket and make the payments on the farming equipment for said overhead costs.  it is definitely a cyclical operation; one part cannot coexist without the others.  the hay and straw operation is also an income builder.  we probably could not run a successful cattle operation without having this resources so accessible.

another reason we took on this responsibility was to keep a freezer full of food.  purchasing meat is expensive.  the quality of meat at some big box and even local grocery stores stock is questionable.  moreover, as i mentioned in my post about my “nearly home-made” cooking style, i like knowing what i’m putting in my body and the bodies of my family.  so many animals are fed unnecessary antibiotics, growth hormones, and sub-par feed.  d takes pride in the fact his animals are all-natural and fed whole-foods from fields we plant and harvest.  we take pride in the fact that we are providing our customers with a product they can feel confident they are consuming without any worries.

if you haven’t considered buying a quarter or half or even a full beef, i highly recommend it.  the cost saving benefits are numerous and are more far-reaching than your own pocketbook:

• you pay a flat fee per pound; this may make hamburger seem expensive, but steaks are way cheap
• you can choose the types of cuts you want, how much burger to have made, how thick to have steaks, etc.
• it comes frozen so there is no wasting of meat that gets forgotten in the back of the fridge
• shelf life is a few years, depending on your freezer capabilities, if you don’t eat through it first!
• it is grown locally, fed from local feed sources, slaughtered by a local meat market - all supporting local businesses and limiting the carbon footprint made from transporting meat in from states away

raising or purchasing beef, or any meat for that matter, from a neighbor, friend, or relative is, oddly enough, a ‘green’ way to live.  in my opinion it’s healthier, more economic, and something to definitely consider the next time you’re standing in front of the spread of meats wanting a better option.

i'm all about giving credit where credit is due!  one of the pictures in this post came from this website:

http://www.energeticbalancing.us/what-is-meat-glue

Nearly Homemade

i have come to realize that my cooking style is distinctly like that of my grandmother’s generation, where whole foods weren’t a trend, but rather the only option.  nutrition is a concern for me, of course, but my main priority is to make food with good, wholesome ingredients that my family will enjoy.  i have also come to realize that i display my love for my family by cooking.  i make special meals for valentine’s day and birthdays, generally a favorite for whoever i’m cooking for.  i have created some beautiful customized birthday cakes for my kids‘ birthdays instead of buying one from a store.  i pride myself in making home-made food items.  

i give chef sandra lee a considerable amount of credit for showing people how they can cook more health-conscious home-made meals that aren’t made of completely home-made ingredients.  i would actually consider my cooking style to be ‘nearly‘ home-made, based on what she considers ‘semi‘ home-made.  i have a few of her cookbooks and regularly consult her website.  i am excited that people are getting back in their kitchens and cooking for their family instead of grabbing a bag full of food from the closest drive-through.

the epidemic of childhood obesity deeply concerns me.  working at a school and seeing what is served daily is scary.  our cooks make nice meals, but there is absolutely zero color deviation from orange-ish yellow.  anyone that knows anything about nutrition knows that a plate that looks like a rainbow is best.  but i also recognize that carbohydrates and corn bi-products are more cost-effective for families and schools.  it is so sad that eating healthy comes at such an expense, but the cost of not eating healthy is far greater.  dare i say - food for thought the next time you (or i) pull out the good ol’ mac and cheese and hot dogs...

what difference does using whole foods make, you ask?  i think a considerable amount of difference.  i can create as delicious a marinade as any popular company out of the similar ingredients, but instead of adding preservatives and chemicals to maintain a shelf-life, mine have the same or better flavors because they are made fresh.  i can create an excellent white sauce without the additional calories of popular jarred versions.  i can add in hidden ingredients so my family gets vegetables without even knowing it.  i know that i can safely add seasonings like salt, pepper, etc. because they haven’t been previously added to the foods.  i know exactly where my meat is coming from because i know the people that raise it.  these are the things i have the freedom to do when i know what is going into our food. 

i am not so crunchy that i only buy organic, mill my own flour, and milk the cow every morning and night.  i, too, throw together quick meals where i can’t control all the elements.  and that’s ok.  remember - everything in moderation.  what i am very conscience about is what i buy, where i buy it, and how i prepare it to preserve as many nutrients as possible.  i love having a beautiful farmer’s market right in town and try to frequent this as much as possible.  i also love the system that many grocery stores have adopted to help people determine healthy choices in their aisles.  (click here to visit fellow bloggers kelsey and eric williams’ blog entry and a link to usa today's article on this very subject.)  

d does not like whole wheat bread, pasta, chips, baked goods, etc.  but thankfully, he eats them anyway.  he’s not a big vegetable fan, but he puts at least one bite on his plate to show the kids that you can still eat something even if you don’t like it.  i have found jessica seinfeld’s process of adding “hidden” vegetables to increase the nutritional value of your dishes highly effective - even d is none the wiser....  (until he reads this, of course.)  i think you have to develop strategies to introduce whole grains, more vegetables/fruits, calcium-rich dairy products, and healthy fats in a way that works best for your family.  i am not claiming to be an expert, by any means; i just know that i feel good about what i’m doing for myself and my family and want to encourage you to do the same if your mealtime choices are lacking in variety, color, and nutrients. 

knowing about proper nutrition is also critical in making good food selections for your family.  i know a considerable amount of information about nutrition, portion sizes, best preparation methods, and so on.  i also know that everything in moderation is perfectly acceptable.  a few marshmallows in a fruit salad will not harm anyone, especially if the fruit is fresh, there are no other added sweeteners, and dressed with yogurt in place of cool whip or cream cheese dip.  real butter in mashed potatoes is perfectly acceptable, especially considering there is “hidden” acorn squash and a sweet potato in the mash and margarine is only one molecule away from plastic.  i would rather use butter than a buttery spread because i know exactly what butter is made from.  anything i can’t pronounce i don’t think i should be putting inside me.  to me, that is what whole-foods cooking is all about.  

does this work for everybody?  most certainly not.  is it always cost-efficient? absolutely not.  does my family always eat their vegetables and like my cooking?  no.  but at the end of the day, i can sleep well knowing i did my part as resident chef to feed myself, my kids, and my husband the best meals i can.  sometimes i have some real flops, but sometimes i have some real wins.  i enjoy challenging myself to recreate restaurant-style dishes in a healthier way.  i relish putting together a meal that is delicious and wholesome.  i love that there is an abundance of bloggers cooking, baking, and embracing this ‘nearly’ home-made way of feeding our families.

i'm all about giving credit where credit is due!  the pictures featured in the post were taken from the following websites:

http://celynnerasmus.com/milk-and-dairy-products-necessity-or-no-go/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rice_grains_(IRRI).jpg

http://www.alexandracooks.com/2007/11/29/best-buttermilk-biscuits/

http://buymyjuicer.com/your-body-and-antioxidant-foods/

http://atlantahotspot.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/fresh-fruit.jpg

Snow Days, Not School Days

oh how i love snow days!  seriously, i love cozying up and hunkering down, cooking, cleaning, and spending time with the munchkins.  (although, i usually do a little happy dance when naptime rolls around.)  this morning was greeted with a 5:45am one call from the school district announcing the delay, to which i happily turned off my alarm.  then again around 8 i received the coveted cancellation call.  finally around 9 we all woke up and i casually made breakfast (cinnamon raisin pancakes - see recipe to follow) around 10.  don't judge.  we are generally not in a rush on snow days.  after all, where are we going? this was the gorgeous view from our table this morning.  i absolutely love, love, love it when the snow sticks to the branches.  i can't imagine a whole lot of other nature scenes that are more beautiful...  another perk - i caught shemar moore on ellen, and all i can say is YUM!!  

today's snow day gave me an opportunity to practice more positive parenting, too.  as i revealed yesterday, i struggle with parenting two under 4.  but it has become my resolve, not just because a new year has come but because it is high time, to be a better, more patient, kinder parent.  i want to encourage my children to make good choices because of my guidance, not because i yelled loud enough to get their attention.  

anyway, when the dreaded tears and back-talking started as i attempted to serve lunch, which might i add was pretty tasty, albeit incredibly simple, i actually followed through with my threat to remove the children from the table if their refusal to eat continued.  minishe exclaimed, "i'll eat! i'll eat!" when i began to pull her chair out from the table, and shoved some sausage in her mouth faster than i could blink.  when i transitioned my attention to minihe, he asked through his tears, "how many bites do i need to take?".  i sat down in satisfaction knowing that i had just won myself a small battle in the war against my children's most annoying habits - the mealtime breakdown.

as for our unexpected breakfast at home today, the kids literally screamed "pancakes" and trampled each other in a fast scramble to help me assemble them in the kitchen.  as i've mentioned in a previous post, pancakes are literally my children's favorite food.  not only do they gobble them up, but they love to help with the prep work.  minihe loves to crack the egg, scoop out flour, stir everything around... minishe is just content to have her own [empty] bowl and spoon and pretend to get in on the action.  

the inspiration for this morning's cinnamon raisin pancakes comes from the absolutely delectable cinnamon raisin biscuit/muffin my daycare provider made last week.  i have been craving one since.  j is an expert at, well, everything!  i am truly blessed to have such a wonderful childcare provider, and i would also call her my friend.  those of you reading this with children in daycare centers or in-home providers know just how valuable it is to find someone you can trust to have your children's best interest as their number one priority day in and day out.  after all, their work is to fundamentally raise our children while we work.

at any rate, here's this morning's pancake recipe.  why i didn't think of adding these ingredients together sooner is beyond me!!

cinnamon raisin pancakes:

look at how fluffy they are fluffing up!

ingredients: enough to make 12 pancakes

• 1/2 C raisins
• 1 C bisquick mix
• 1/2 C milk
• 1 egg
• 1/2 t cinnamon
• 1 T sugar
• 1 t baking powder (can be omitted but this simple ingredient makes the pancakes really fluff)
• dash nutmeg

preparation:

• before you start your batter, soak the raisins in warm water to plump them up a little
• add remaining ingredients to a bowl and stir to mix
• drain off water from raisins and fold into batter
• heat a titch of oil on a griddle 
• spoon batter onto griddle and flip when bubbles pop and don't fill in
• i served with syrup but i bet a cream cheese drizzle would be excellent (see below)

yes.  i use paper plates and plastic utensils. i abhor washing dishes.

cream cheese drizzle:

• 2 oz cream cheese
• 1/2 C powdered sugar
• 1-2 T butter
• milk to thin
• warm cream cheese, butter, and milk in microwave
• mix, adding more sugar, milk, or cream cheese to desired taste and consistency

Parenting Toddlers.... Simultaneously.

i love you not...

i love you...

facebook is a definite vice of mine and i certainly enjoy reading about people's lives.  i feel empowered to share something today after reading 80-some responses about quirkiness and the weird things we do.  strangely, people weren't judging each other!  i hope in reading this, you won't judge me after you read this entry.  i think we all have our struggles in love, marriage, raising kids, work...  i am no different but just have a platform to vocalize these struggles.  parenting toddlers simultaneously is serious work and something I seriously struggle with.  this post is not about how we magically solved our problems; but rather admitting we don't have the answers, our parenting style is a work in progress, and reflecting on what we can do better.  hopefully my admission about my shortcomings as a mother helps me reflect on what i do well and, more specifically, what i can do better.  if it helps you through your parenting struggles, too, well, that's an added bonus.

it should go without saying that i absolutely adore my children!  they are funny, smart, inquisitive, and pretty stinkin' cute.  i love being their mom.  but they are also crabby, whiny, needy, and demanding.  the later four characteristics are, unfortunately, what i normally see.  and sadly, this takes the enjoyment out of parenting for me.  while they are finally starting to play together, in the blink of an eye, they turn on each other and on me.  what's even more perplexing is that they can turn on and off this behavior for d, and the in-laws.  i think they have a fearful respect of their father and gpa, and that mil's elementary education background gives her skills that i don't use in my upper elementary/secondary teaching.  i am always amazed by how d's mom is so good with the kids, especially minihe.  there have been very few times i can recall her giving him a timeout.  pretty sure he's never gotten a spanking at their house, either.  i have always heard d's family comment on how well-behaved d and his sister were as kids.  d's mom was also a sahm (stay-at-home-mom) for their early childhood years, which is yet another reason i think she's so good with my kids - she developed strategies as a parent 27 years ago that serve her incredibly well as an elementary teacher and grandmother today.

identifying the fact i struggle with parenting takes a lot for me.  i generally only do things i'm good at, but i obviously can't discontinue parenting because it's hard -- and it's only going to get harder.  i want so desperately to have polite, quiet, well-behaved children that use their manners without being prompted, that follow directions the first time, and that are cooperative 100% of the time.  but who am i kidding?  everybody ideally wants their children to be that way.  i have great admiration for parents that have done an excellent job of raising their children, many of whom are my relatives.  perhaps that's what makes me aspire even more to be a better parent and raise better children: because i know it can be done.

their kids don't just become this way overnight.  they have established clear guidelines, expectations, consequences, and rewards.  this is not a revelation for me or probably for you, either.  the purpose these observations serve for me is to reflect on what i can do differently and how i can adapt my parenting to achieve that level of success with my own children.  from what i have seen, they remain calm, speak with care and respect, and probably most important of all - follow through.  i know what i need to do, i just don't know how to do it and make the change last when it gets hard.

i am impatient.  i raise my voice way too much.  i am not always "present" with them.  these, among others, are my major shortfalls when it comes to my parenting.  i have tried positive reinforcement; i have tried redirecting; i have tried speaking calmly; i have tried countless other strategies to manage minihe's rollercoaster-like behavior and minishe's drama-filled tantrums.  all i have found is that he'll do well for a few days and then he reverts back to old behaviors, and that she is spoiled and isn't satisfied until she gets her way.  i am somewhat of a pushover and have probably enabled these behaviors just to keep the house peaceful.  i wouldn't go so far as to say that we can't control our kids, but their behaviors are so upsetting to us that we don't take them to places where sitting still for longer than 5 minutes is required.  the different ways we parent and the results they yield has created some disagreements in our marriage.  perhaps this is partially because after we agree on a strategy we want to be effective, we both revert back to our own ineffective behaviors that contribute to this situation.  one more admission - i do this more frequently than d does...  

i will have to say that despite our different parenting philosophies, we back each other up and support the decisions we make when another parent is not present.  presenting a united front, regardless if we agree with it or not, is the most important parenting philosophy we share.  i don't want to discipline my children with fear.  i want to discipline them with love, respect, and authority.  i do not have answers for how to actually achieve this.  all i know for sure is that i will keep trying to be a better parent, and the first step for me is confessing how much i struggle in these efforts and recognizing that there are better ways to achieve a happy household.

maybe you have your own struggles.  maybe you have some effective strategies that work for you.  either way, embracing these struggles and how we overcome them is one of the greatest joys of parenting - knowing that we're not alone in our endeavor to raise a generation of kids that are caring, respectful, thoughtful, and considerate.

what have you done well in your parenting?  what do you wish you could do better at?  sound off in the comment area below this post!

I Have A Dream

a common question i have received from family and friends over the last few days has been "do you have the day off on monday?" My standard answer was "ugh. no." but why do i think i even deserve a day off?  


after reflecting on my attitude about this as the day has progressed, i have a few thoughts.  isn't the best way to celebrate the life and work of MLK to actually work or go to school?  wouldn't it defeat the purpose of this great man's passion if we didn't experience civil rights in action on a daily basis? wouldn't that be the legacy that he would want for himself?  this is the living, breathing result he died to bring to fruition.  his efforts were not for us to have a day off from work, but for us to embrace our differences and revel in the amazement that as red, yellow, black, and white; male or female; young, old, or somewhere in-between; gay, straight, bi, trans-gendered; religious, spiritual, or atheist; republic, democrat, or independent-- everyone is created equal.  


"When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." 
~I Have A Dream, Martin Luther King, August 28, 1963


as we near the 50th anniversary of this monumental speech, i certainly recognize and hold dear everything this man stood for.  in actuality, i cannot even begin to fathom what the civil rights movement means to minorities.  after all, it was a major turning point in our history and although we have made exceptional strides since 1963, we are quite obviously still a far cry from accepting of differences.


this day absolutely deserves recognition. "i have a dream" stands on the same ground as the declaration of independence, signing of the constitution, and the emancipation proclamation.  i don't think there has been any more important speech in modern history that has had such an impact on society as this.  i implore you to consider just how crucial and just how alive this movement is yesterday, today, and tomorrow...


"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
~I Have A Dream, Martin Luther King, August 28, 1963


to see and hear the full "I Have A Dream" speech, click here.
to see the development of the MLK monument, click here.

splitting wood...

we are a two-income family but still struggle if any "extras" come up, like a car repair, medical/dental bill, and so on. between daycare, vehicles, camper, mortgage, insurance, and the standard monthly expenses, there's not an over abundance of cash remaining.

like other families in our very common situation, we found a way to all but eliminate our dependence on propane by installing a wood burning furnace in our basement. last winter alone, we saved ourselves a minimum of $1,500! we had one fill in the fall since we use propane for our stove, water heater, dryer, and barn. a fill usually runs us right around $700-900 and we would need at least 3-4 fills per year so that was a huge savings for us. we've gone from a fill every 3-4 months to 1 per year! an added bonus-the heat from a wood burner was so much warmer, and in our old farm house, that's huge! in winters past we would bring the kids to sleep downstairs because it was just too cold. now, they sleep with light blankets and a t-shirt. another note about the savings--it paid for itself! d put up the chimney himself and retrofitted our ductwork, so if you are a DIY kind of family, it wouldn't take more than a weekend to get you up and running!

the drawbacks?
1. d is busy nearly every weekend cutting, splitting, hauling, stacking, and tending to this endeavor. thank goodness it's been a very mild winter thus far and we have been able to stock up instead of literally burning through it. also, we have an attachment for the bobcat that splits wood and is operated inside the cab. makes the work go pretty fast...
2. our yard to the west of the house is a mess. the lawn is torn up from the bobcat tires, there's wood chips, sawdust, and splinters all over, but it's not visible from the road or visitors or really from the family room so it's more of an eyesore only if you know it's there.
3. chimney fires are a real danger and maintenance of the chimney is a must. it is recommended to sweep them quite frequently to clear out the build-up of creosote, which is highly flammable. we had to clean ours twice and ended up not using it when the temps got too high since creosote is better carried out with the draft of cold exterior air.

if you have considered using an alternative method for heating your home, consider burning wood. d's dad bought a brand new corn furnace, burned corn for a season, and traded it for a wood furnace. theirs is outside and plumbed into the house underground. we're, and by "we're" i mean d, is happy to share more about our experience, cost savings, and methods.

what if?

i am an incredibly passionate person, especially when it comes to things i feel passionate about.  sounds right, right?  recently i encountered some posts on a facebook page that features mugshots of local arrests.  seems innocent enough, right?  wrong!  the commentary that followed was outrageous!  and it doesn't just happen there, it happens after almost news item on any website.  it sickens me the insults adults are throwing at each other and speaks to the heart of the character the school systems are trying not to instill in our children, the future of this nation and world.  several adages raced through my head when reading the message thread of said facebook page: 
1. just because you can, doesn't mean you should...
2. if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all...
3. treat others as you would like to be treated...
4. people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...
5. actions speak louder than words...
6. if you can talk the talk, then you should be able to walk the walk...

should i go on or do you get the point?

at any rate... i took it upon myself to call adults to action and composed a quite lengthy article published in our local newspaper, not in the letter to the editor, as initially intended, but in the editor's own column...  quite an honor, although it doesn't hurt that i have worked at said newspaper on and off for 6 or 7 years... :)  i hope that this post is though provoking for you and makes you think about how your actions are being viewed by the young and impressionable that are watching...  **warning: this is quite a read, but definitely worthwhile...

In response to a recent experience I encountered on a local Facebook page, I believe it is my civil duty to call adults to action in changing the tide of the way we interact with each other.  North Iowa Mugshots claims to operate under the premise of public service and posts pictures of local arrests, organizes them by crimes, and to proceeds to allow this page to be an open forum for reckless commentary by anyone.  A public service cannot coexist peacefully with a platform for rebuttal.  Not to mention it is in direct violation of our judicial system’s “innocent until proven guilty” doctrine.  North Iowa Mugshots is not the only Internet-based news source to be held accountable - I see many absurd and irrelevant comments following other news stories on local TV stations, news papers, and other reputable websites.  Presenting the facts is called journalistic integrity, and while people feel it is there right to respond to these facts with their own interpretations, I ask - is it necessary?

I don't know 99% of the people featured on that page or in the news, and my guess is most may not either.  However, it is frustrating and sickening that adults are throwing insults, language, personal attacks, and threats around with complete and utter disregard for the full extent of these inappropriate and senseless comments.  The old adage "those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" seems quite appropriate to describe the situation going on not only on that page or pages like it, but in society in general.  I am far from perfect, and I’m really glad my life isn’t on a microscope for others to dissect.

It is my belief the administrators of any webpage have the right, and dare I say obligation, to censor such posts.  This statement may get me accused of infringing on freedom of speech rights; however, when people exercise these "Freedom of Speech" threats they are making, they may earn themselves a picture on the wall of shame, and then they are no better than the people they are blatantly judging.  Furthermore, the cloak of anonymity gives people a voice they wouldn’t ordinarily exercise.  The argument could be made that a website is not responsible or can be held liable for the comments made by members, and one must take into consideration the type of people posting such garbage.  While a valid point, I ask, again, it is necessary?  Perhaps I was raised by very wise people, but I believe my grandmother said to me on many occasions, “Is it better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool rather than to open it and remove all doubt?”  I implore you to consider these words the next time you consider saying, writing, or expressing yourself in a manner that is insensitive, foolish, and impulsive.   

I am not an activist against Freedom of Speech - here I am speaking openly against the activities of those who post unnecessary commentary following any news story.  I have been employed by local newspapers for years and fully understand the impact of our First Amendment Rights.  What I am an activist against is such vulgarity that serves zero purpose, openly makes physical threats, harbors an atmosphere of bullying, and makes an outright display of despicable behaviors, one post nastier than the previous.  It simply called common sense and responsibility, two key traits crucial to our ability to function and coexist.

If this is what children have as role models for appropriate adult behavior, it is no wonder kids behave the way they do.  That goes for the people featured in news articles for their wrong-doings and those who feel the need to treat others so uncivilly.  This, my friends, only perpetuates instead of breaks the cycle.  I am a teacher, I have kids of my own, and I serve on on my school’s character education team; the observations I have made of the comments are not solving any problems, are not a wise use of time, and most certainly are not positive.  It is our responsibility to instill values in our children and encourage them to be civil-minded, caring, compassionate, and respectful in their relationships.  It's total hypocrisy for today's adult generations to complain about the behavior of today's youth when they have not set an example worth following.

Instead of pointing out the obvious flaws in decision-making of people featured on the sites, what if we provided mentoring to young mothers as to how to run a household?  What if there were reasonable daycare options for them to finish or pursue education?  What if we did more drug and alcohol awareness in our own homes?  What if there were tougher traffic laws?  What if bartenders didn’t allow their patrons to get behind the wheel?  What if?  Believe it or not, I am not a liberal democrat - I’m a humanitarian just wanting the best for the future of this world.  My kids have to grow up in here, and it’s already difficult enough to teach the difference between right and wrong without all the social influences, negativism, and injustices being displayed in our own backyard.

Although I use websites for their intended purposes, and like to pride myself on keeping up-to-date on local news stories, I am astonished by other adults who choose to use them as a platform for spreading hatred.  Just because a comment box follows a news item doesn't alone justify or even require its usage.  There are appropriate outlets for voicing an opinion and I am not convinced that children, or anyone with an ounce of common sense, should be subjected to some of the most wicked statements I have ever encountered.  I must look crazy for putting this much thought into this cry for social justice, but if no one else is going to be a voice of reason, I will stand up and support the cause whole-heartedly.  

I again am reminded of a poem that sums up what I am trying to say:

Watch your thoughts for they become your words.

Watch your words for they become your actions.

Watch your actions for they become your habits.

Watch your habits for they become your character.

Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

It is only to society's benefit that our interactions with each other remain respectful, considerate, calm, and productive.  We first have to look within to be the change we want to see.  Do you have it within you?